Because you’re not getting much work done anyway (2014 edition)

Happy holidays! It’s time for MeanLaura’s annual collection of Online Things Which Can Prevent Work. You know, in case you needed help not getting work done.

Cat Petting Simulator. If you’re of a certain age, you’ll remember text-based adventure games. Now, imagine petting a cat as a text-based adventure game, with options such as “behold her majesty” or “Go straight for the belly.” Good for some chuckles and for cat fanciers.
Silicon Valley Job Title Generator. Pure silliness. Maybe you’ll be a “Twitter Tsar” or a “Cryptocurrency Evangelist.”
Tokyo Merry Pixmas. I’m not even sure how to explain this one. Imagine Minecraft-like figures that are animated, that you can see from all angles and then play with changing their different parts. If you’re a webgeek, you’ll especially enjoy this one: it pushes the boundaries of HTML5 and CSS3 animations and tranforms. But you don’t have to care about what’s under the hood to enjoy this site.
Oh Hi. A fun little logic game, using red and blue squares. Easy to play, easy to mess up. Yes, I kind of suck at it.
Silk: Interactive Generative Art. A modern, online Spirograph, and it’s way cooler than it’s analog retro counterpart. Options to share what you’ve created. It does have sound, but this site is very intelligent: the sound is muted by default. It’s up to you, whether to enable it or not.
Geometric Music. “The app works like ultra-simple sample-production software, allowing you to create layered beats. But while complex programs will drown you in buttons and knobs, Geometric Music only uses shapes to dictate how something sounds. Every noise you make is translated into one of four shapes (circle, triangle, square or hexagon), and you manipulate those shapes to change the rhythm, speed and volume. Think of it as tapping into a digitally-enabled form of shaped-based synesthesia. ” (Credit.) It’s got a desktop version, as well as one for iDevices and Androids. You’ll need to enable the mic on your computer to use this one, but the effects are really interesting to play with.
Is Your Mind Blown? Get fun, interesting facts. Tell the site if your mind is blown for the given fact If not, you’ll get another one. If so, then you get a fun animation before the next fact. After all, did you already know that spotted salamanders are the only vertebrate to get energy from the sun?
Death by Caffeine. Find out how much of your favorite energy drink, soda or coffee it will take to actually kill you. Important, life-saving information.
Pixact.ly. An online tools that tests how well you know your pixels. Draw a box that demonstrates the dimensions given and get a score, based on how close you are. Sounds easy, right? Of course it’s not.
The Sounds of Street View. Because going outside is totally overrated, this useful little site adds real sounds to specific panoramic photos from Google’s Street View. Headphones recommended, for the full 3D experience. If you’re a developer, you can even create your own.
You’re Getting Old. Well, you already knew that…but I guarantee you probably know nothing else already that this site will tell you. Plug in your birthdate, and all sorts of relevant stats and facts are spewed forth, instantly making you feel like you should be writing your Last Will and Testament. Little facts like “The total number of candles on all your birthday cakes so far is 1,128” probably won’t make your day, but the perspective is fascinating.