Because you’re not getting much work done anyway (2016 edition)

Happy holidays! It’s time for my annual collection of Online Stuff To Waste Time On. You know, in case you needed help not getting your work done.

Be virtually rained out. Like the sounds of rain? Of course you do. This site allows you not only to hear rain whenever you want, but you can change the sounds by season…if, for example, only spring rains will do. There’s also a “canicule” option (which is, according to Google, French for “heat wave”) in case you don’t want rain at all, but prefer lots of birds tweeting.
Get that Harry Potter ambience. If you need your ambient sounds geared more towards the fantastical, try this out. Need to listen to the sounds of your house’s common room? The Hogwarts Express? You can even find soundtracks for the Great Hall and the Hogwarts Library.
This one is just weird. I’m not even sure where to begin with describing this one, but I’ll try. It’s a creative, interactive digital demo where you type in letters and words and strange hand animations result. It’s oddly mesmerizing.
Make a digital holiday card. Create a digital holiday card by adding characters, selecting options like hair style and outfit, and selecting design options for the card. When you’re ready, press “Publish” and Curtsey will generate a link for you to share with your family and friends.
Annoy the heck out of someone. Waaay cheaper than a real drumset. Works best with a touchscreen so you can use both hands to play. There’s also a sequencer, so you can create repeated rhythms.
Find the nearest burrito. Even if you’re not an inebriated college student, you may occasionally crave a burrito when you’re in unfamiliar territory. Never fear: this tool allows you to input your zip code or other geographical data and it will automatically find the nearest sources to fill your desire.
Create realistic ransom notes. If you’re finding that you’re frequently needing to create ransom notes…well, I’m glad you’re not my coworker. However, for the one time you need one, after you kidnap your boss’s Nancy Pearl action figure, this will get the job done. Put in your text, get your ransom note, looking all officially ransom-y.
Confirm that yoga is hard. You manipulate a virtual character’s joints with your keyboard, as he topples over himself and bends in different directions. There are different positions, which you have to hold for a set amount of time in order to clear them. Definitely not as easy as it looks.
Design a tessellation online This widget makes it easy to create tessellating patterns in a style similar to that of M.C. Escher.
Find out what the internet thinks. What’s the consensus on cats? How about pasta? Whatever the topic, this fun little tool will give you an idea of whether or not people generally feel positive, negative or indifferent towards it.
Find the correct wine pairing for your music. What music are you listening to? Are you drinking the appropriate wine? This site tells you. Not drinking the proper wine with your playlist might make you a barbarian.